Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
“Learning to encourage your spouse”
Chapman says – every couple gets together to make each other happy; something happens between “I do” and “I won’t.”
Emerson Eggrich says that the battle cry for marriage is in
Verse 33:
Husbands must love your wives as your own body; the wife must respect her husband.
Long dissertation on this, but when wives are not loved, husbands are not respected, we go in the crazy cycle.
I. Be determined to work at communication
Verses 15-19
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord
A. We have forgotten how to laugh together, share our joy with each other.
B. Learn to communicate feelings
a. I watched a video on Alaska Logging
i. All problems are shared collectively
ii. When it is out in the open you deal with it
iii. Crocodile Dundee
C. Norman Wright – 3 changes are taking place in the institution of marriage
a. The decline in understanding
b. The loss of determination to stay married
c. The development of unrealistic expectations
*When I got married I was looking for an ideal – turned into an ordeal; now I’m looking for a new deal.
D. Women are attracted to the strong, silent type
E. Dr. Dobson says – years ago families who worked together generationally
F. 10 Guidelines for marriage connection:
1. Be a good listener – do not speak until the person speaking is finished
2. Slow to speak, think first, then speak
3. Speak the truth always in love
4. Do not use the silent treatment to frustrate the other person
5. Stay away from quarrels
6. Do not respond in anger
7. When you are wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness
8. Avoid nagging
9. Do not blame the other person
10. Try to understand the other person’s opinion
G. Speak words that build up your spouse
Verses 25-26
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
II. Work at developing the right attitude
Verses 20-21
always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
A. Stay away from “if only’s”
B. No one has all that they want out of a relationship
a. Too many think the answer is changing the relationship
b. Article in Cincinnati Inquirerer
i. A man and wife fought for 9 months – been married for 21 years
ii. Decided to call it quits
iii. Each took a test to see what kind of partner they were looking for – each other
C. Lady in Kentucky – preacher having a revival said she has a lot on the ball
a. She has an 80 year old dad who is dying
b. A husband who is disabled
c. A child who is mentally handicapped
III. Realize that good relationships are built
A. Change is inevitable – I’m not the same as I was 25 years ago
B. My likes and dislikes are not the same “Will you love me when I’m old and gray . . . “
C. Be creative
a. Go places together – “no time, no money.”
b. Spend time away from each other
c. Don’t push to always be right
d. Set goals together
D. Remember: it’s in the giving we receive
a. Blessings are ours when we give unselfishly
E. Find ways to encourage
* I went to the house of a dear old lady sitting at her table having breakfast
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